{"id":1932,"date":"2019-01-13T18:24:14","date_gmt":"2019-01-13T18:24:14","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/marendeepwell.com\/?p=1932"},"modified":"2019-01-13T20:56:47","modified_gmt":"2019-01-13T20:56:47","slug":"working-with-greater-kindness-how-to-take-a-break-from-being-the-worst-critic-of-your-own-professional-practice","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/marendeepwell.com\/?p=1932","title":{"rendered":"Working with greater kindness: how to take a break from being the worst critic of your own professional practice."},"content":{"rendered":"\n
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Recently I\u2019ve started to form a new habit, to give myself a break each day for something I\u2019ve done or something I haven\u2019t done. It was a kind of afterthought on a list of things, the sort of list you make at the start of the year, when the days are dark and you feel like turning over a new leaf.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yet, it\u2019s been a surprisingly impactful exercise, prompting quite a few realisations about how I work:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Being too self critical?! <\/p>\n\n\n\n

The ease with which I find something each day made me realise that I\u2019m more self critical than I\u2019d thought. Having a regular reminder to give myself a break has made me take a kinder view.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Perspective<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Often things that turn days from good to bad are quite small. Still, they can have a real impact on how I perceive things to have gone. Taking one thing out of the equation often makes things a lot better. In retrospect that is particularly helpful – focusing on good things, rather than small, but annoying niggles.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Giving others a break<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Giving myself a break makes it much easier to do the same for others, I find. It stops me from getting distracted by minor issues, gives me more headspace to focus on what\u2019s important. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Being my own mentor<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, my mentor would have been the person who would remind me most often to give myself a break. It was liberating to hear and often cheered me up. Now I find reminding myself works, too. It still has the same effect. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Reflecting on failure<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s more difficult to reflect on failure than success, partly because of the emotional element. I may feel bad about a decision I made or a particular action I took and that makes me feel less comfortable, less able to think clearly about how I could have done better or what I would do differently next time. It also makes it harder to talk to others about it, because I may get defensive or focus on how I feel rather than listening. In this context giving myself a break, forgiving myself for mistakes I\u2019ve made, is really important. It helps me to move on, to better learn from what I did or didn\u2019t do. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

How to… give yourself a break<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What works for me is to take a moment late in the day and think about how things have gone. Often one thing stands out as being annoying, something I wish I had done differently or something I wish I hadn\u2019t said. It\u2019s quite rare for nothing to come to mind. If they are too many things, I focus on whatever I feel most angry or annoyed about. Then, I take whatever it is, I acknowledge it, and give myself a break for whatever it may be. Sometimes that feels a bit like putting it in my own personal Room 101, sometimes it\u2019s like putting it in the bin, sometimes it feels like letting go. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I know it\u2019s happened, and I may have many more thoughts or feelings about my day but that one thing is now ok. Phew. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I found it\u2019s much more effective than I\u2019d expected. Maybe it\u2019ll work for you, too.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Recently I\u2019ve started to form a new habit, to give myself a break each day for something I\u2019ve done or something I haven\u2019t done. It was a kind of afterthought on a list of things, the sort of list you make at the start of the year, when the days are dark and you feel like turning over a new leaf. Yet, it\u2019s been a surprisingly impactful exercise, prompting quite a few realisations about how…<\/p>\n

Read moreWorking with greater kindness: how to take a break from being the worst critic of your own professional practice.<\/span><\/a><\/div>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_crdt_document":"","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[21],"tags":[40],"class_list":["post-1932","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-open-practice","tag-open","entry"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7wa4N-va","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/marendeepwell.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1932","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/marendeepwell.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/marendeepwell.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/marendeepwell.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/marendeepwell.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1932"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/marendeepwell.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1932\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1934,"href":"https:\/\/marendeepwell.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1932\/revisions\/1934"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/marendeepwell.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1932"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/marendeepwell.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1932"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/marendeepwell.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1932"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}